I grew up in the Christian church.

I said “the sinner’s prayer” when I was 4.

Got baptized at age 6 as an “outward sign of an inward faith.”

Fast forward 30 years and I was EXHAUSTED.

I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t have the peace + joy promised in Scripture.

I saw counselor after counselor after counselor.

Secular. Christian. Biblical.

I read a gazillion self-help books.

Nothing was helping.

Maybe this is you, too?

Keep reading.

There’s SO MUCH HOPE.

2021 was a pretty low season for our family.

May of 2021, I invested in a business coach.

Through that decision, I met someone who God used to lead me to His heart.

We became Insta-besties 😆 (Ever had one of those? No? Just me?) and started to read the book of Acts together.

No commentary. No study guide. Just wrestling with the text.

I learned so much during that time about the original Christian Church.

I saw things in the text that I had never seen or paid much attention to prior.

I would come to my friend and vent all of my life frustrations, and in her attempt to help me, she would calmly and kindly say, “When did you repent?” “Have you repented?” 👀

She flew from Arizona to Oregon with her folks for a family reunion and made a point to stop by my house to pray over me. 😭 (WHO DOES THIS?!)

She asked me again, “Have you repented?”

I honestly thought I had!

I mean. I told God I believed in Him.

I wanted to walk rightly.

And, for 30+ years, I tried to do just that.

(More on that later.)

Fast forward 4 months, and I was a WRECK.

Life stuff was getting worse.

I spent a lot of days curled up in a fetal position on my bed.

My friend was baffled at why I seemed to be so BOUND.

She asked if I would join her + a missionary friend on a Zoom call.

They wanted to share the gospel with me.

I had heard the gospel a gazillion times + it didn’t seem to change much (THIS IS A RED FLAG 🚩, YO.)

But, I saw firsthand how the gospel was transforming my friend, so I said, “yes.”

Obviously, there was something I had royally missed. 🤦‍♀️

She asked me to type up an overview of what was troubling me so her friend could have context for our call.

Her response after reading it?

“When did you repent?” 😑

During the call, they showed me a visual representation of the gospel.

They asked me where I saw myself — was I a heart of stone? or, heart of flesh?

I wasn’t totally sure.

Maybe somewhere in the middle?

They both called me out on some things:

Bitterness

Anger

Resentment

Spirit of orphan

Spirit of victim

Spirit of religion

Jealousy

Judgement

When they told me what they saw, it was like all the mud covering my eyes was washed away.

I SAW WHERE I WAS BOUND SO CLEARLY.

I NEEDED TO REPENT.

They prayed deliverance over me.

I repented of all that had come to light.

The bondage was broken in my life.

2 months later, my friend traveled from Arizona to Oregon AGAIN.

(Again, WHO DOES THIS?!)

This time, to baptize me.

Yes, I was baptized in elementary school.

Whether or not something spiritual happened then, I don’t really know.

It didn’t matter.

I wanted to do it with full assurance in my mind that I had received + responded to the fullness of the gospel.

She came with friends from Idaho and Bolivia (yes, Bolivia).

They stayed a few days and prayed with me.

They explained that when I went under the water, it was a burial of my dead body.

And, that when the accusations from the enemy come, I can confidently point to the dead body and say those accusations won’t stick — they cannot bind me.

That body is dead.

I AM A NEW CREATION.

I HAVE HOLY SPIRIT LIVING IN ME.

I HAVE POWER OVER DARKNESS because of Jesus.

This 7-Day Devotional will take you through the season that followed.