Marriage Upgrade
If your marriage is struggling, or it’s just not where you want it to be…
I’m not going to tell you to keep praying.
We’ve all heard the critics who say, “We need more than your prayers. We need ACTION.”
Don’t get me wrong.
Prayer is powerful.
James tells us that the prayer of a righteous person has great power as it’s working. (James 5:16)
But, I’m not going to tell you to take action, either…
At least, not the way you’re probably thinking.
Because the truth is, you cannot fix your marriage.
You and your spouse are both sinners.
There isn’t anyone else to marry.
It’s not YOUR action that’s desperately needed.
It’s Jesus’.
And, thankfully, He already took the action needed!
PRAISE GOD!!
If you want a marriage upgrade…
CONFESS YOUR SHORTCOMINGS.
This looks like owning up to your anger, resentment, judgement, jealousy, spirit of victimhood, bitterness, lust, deceit, manipulation, spirit of control — the list could go on, but start with what you know.
First, tell God these things and ask Him to help your heart to be broken over them.
They are baggage you’re unnecessarily carrying and they’re doing your marriage ZERO favors.
Toss them at His feet.
Listen. You were bought with a price.
Jesus - GOD IN HUMAN FORM - sacrificed Himself to save you from HIS WRATH.
Stop and consider that with me for a moment.
Jesus didn’t die to save you from Satan.
He died to save you from the Father’s wrath.
You and your spouse deserve death.
We all do.
Before a holy and righteous God, anything “good” we do is like a poop sandwich.
God designed you and your spouse separately and together to be WHOLE in Him.
That was the original plan.
Broken marriages weren’t part of the original design.
Adam + Eve decided they knew best and ruined it for the rest of us.
BUT. GOD.
Rich in mercy.
Full of steadfast love + faithfulness.
He has a plan to restore all things.
And, this plan is actively being executed.
You’re living in an unprecedented time of the “already + not yet,” which means you have access to freedom from carrying the weight of your brokenness, even if the brokenness hasn’t fully been repaired yet.
Put your brokenness down + get your hopes up!
But, I must warn you, don’t hope in the wrong thing — that’s called idolatry and it’s just another sneaky, heavy backpack — you don’t want that.
HOPE NOT in a healthy, thriving marriage.
HOPE NOT in healing of your physical ailments.
HOPE NOT in freedom from addiction.
PUT. YOUR. HOPE. IN. JESUS.
He is the prize.
He is the fullness of JOY your heart aches for.
He is the peace you crave.
He is what satisfies your deepest longings.
You cannot change your spouse.
You cannot change your spouse.
You cannot change your spouse.
God can.
Pitfall to avoid: Attempting to manipulate God to do your bidding.
This can look like someone who prays without first confessing and laying down their right to themselves in favor of seeking God’s will + surrendering to His plans for their life.
Prayer that is effective and powerful is prayer that comes from a heart surrendered to God, seeking to know Him more and more intimately.
Does God answer your double-minded prayers for protection over travel or sunshine on your birthday? Sure He does.
That’s what some might call “common grace.”
He. Loves. You.
He doesn’t want to stop at blessing you just with sunshine on your birthday, though.
He wants you (and your spouse) to be fully restored to Himself — like it was back in the Garden of Eden!
Can you even imagine the beauty?!?!
The soul satisfaction?!?!
Communing daily with your Creator?!?!
You want a marriage upgrade.
Great. That’s a rich + good desire.
I can promise you it’s not going to come from getting yourself a new brand of sinner. 👀
Put first things first.
A seed has to be broken before new life begins.
And, seeds don’t make themselves grow.
The One who created it sustains it.
Pursue the Lord. FULLY.
Let Him take care of the rest.
In the coming days (or weeks), I am going to share what, in my experience, you might expect when you begin a fervent pursuit of God.