I was that girl who went to an event and sat in the back, waiting for someone to talk to me.

I sat there, secretly hoping someone would care enough to talk with me or invite me into what was happening.

I would leave sad and resentful when no one but the event coordinator spoke a word to me. It was THEIR FAULT.

Until one day, I realized I wasn’t a victim.

I could speak up.

I could make someone feel seen and heard.

And, not only would it meet someone else’s need, but it would simultaneously meet my own! #winwin

Was I awkward at first? Heck yeah!

I’m still awkward.

But, I’ve practiced making it about someone else, and my self-consciousness has slowly loosened its grip.

It’s still there, just not as strangling.

In what ways do you need to get over yourself, too, and show up for someone else?

*The above was written as a FB post in August of 2020. Allow me to point some things out that I’ve learned since then…

Although I DID scale this hurdle in my own strength, I don’t recommend it. It was heavy to bear + not entirely sustainable.

Not only am I NOT a victim, but I am a NEW CREATION in Christ — it’s His power living in me that helps me to LOOK UP, to stop navel-gazing, and to see others as Christ does, despite my hurts and hangups.

“Christian” means “little Christ.” As someone who claims to follow Christ and bears the name “Christian,” dying to myself is not optional. (If you claim to be a Christian, it’s not optional for you either. 😉)

LOVE GOD, LOVE OTHERS — the 2 greatest commandments in the Bible — THESE THINGS HOLD THE KEY TO PEACE + JOY.

If you’re thinking, “Caitlin, this sounds legalistic and overly religious,” let me assure you that obedience to Christ is not legalism or religiosity. When God gets ahold of your heart and you make the eternal decision to submit fully to Him for the rest of your days, you can gear up for some pretty epic transformation. It’s not going to be a list of to-do’s and to-don’t’s for the sake of checking boxes and being “good enough” — it’s going to be a purpose-filled, simple, light, and beautiful relationship with your Heavenly Father, which is what your soul was DESIGNED to ache + long for.

Dying to oneself is a daily decision. It may take time to see significant fruit, but I assure you, if you continue to submit to the Father + surrender your will and way, you WILL. SEE. FRUIT. #bestdecisionEVER

I’ve found great mentorship and encouragement through Elisabeth Elliot, whose writings and radio talks are always at the top of my list. Check out the archive of her lectures & talks here.

NOT A VICTIM

On Exhaustion